Pains of growing up

I was engrossed in a book on animal behaviour, specifically parenting behaviour of oystercatcher bird, how it teaches its young one to feed on oysters only. There is a mussel eating variety too whose babies would eat only mussels. The mates are also chosen according to eating habits, that is they don't go for partners with dissimilar tastes!
The rigidity of the parenting behaviour is so parallel to humans. We teach our kids right from wrong according to our perceptions of right and wrong.Whether we like it or not it is a fact that we would like our kids to be like us to a great extent, look up to us for answers, believe in our beliefs, carry forward their line of thoughts... so on..the list is endless.
Parents also want us to become financially independent and emotionally secure. But the attachment becomes so strong at times that a parent my not be able to accept the fact that the child has got wings and feet and a life of his own, has decisions to be made by himself, and that the parent however may want to help or be there, would not really be of help,.. the times would have changed, philosophies may clash, tolerance may be just thrown to the wind.It is not just a problem of adolescence but which grows with passing time, taking hold on careers, and married life too. Simply put, it may be an outspoken or silent discord at home, an unnecessary weight on hearts.
It may be the other way round too, with the child clinging to the parent seeking solutions for every problem of life, being a parasite forever! "Should I buy this house, this car, marry this girl/boy, add salt to my soup?!!"..waiting to be told what to do, blindly, with the brain and the heart flushed away in toilet. Is it not important to take control of one's life? Are we robots?
In this same idiotic world I have seen parents who make their children amazingly independent and smart, I admire them for doing that and I don't know how they go about it! I presume, it is insanely difficult.
Just I was musing with these thoughts a lady with her son(about 15-16 years old) came and sat beside me. I took some time to notice that the son had Down's syndrome. He kept fiddling with his mother's saree, bangles and hair..an overgrown toddler. He was adorable. Wouldn't that mother want her toddler to grow big and strong and independent and emotionally secure? That my be possible given the age we are living in, but would her heart ever become secure?